A Life of Depression

Since when I was 9, I always felt unloved. This stemmed from a tragedy that happened to me back then. That day, we were travelling back from a picnic with my mum and dad when a fatal car accident happened. That was the last time that I saw my parents. The accident claimed their lives and left me an orphan. I was lucky to get adopted by some good parents but the trauma won’t just go away.

There are times that I went for therapy, but my life never changed much. I always felt lonely and found it hard to make friends. Throughout my childhood education, I was finding it hard to mingle with other children and this really worried my foster parents. They loved me and provided me with all the support that I needed as well as anything that would make me happy. But this didn’t change me much.

A New Dawn

When I went to college however, it became the beginning of a new life. This started when I joined a cheerleading group. I was nervous about it initially, but our coach who understood my situation proved to be supportive and encouraged me much. With time, I became used to attending the training sessions and became free with everyone in the group.

I became more confidence and my life became more appear. I started preserving life in a completely new dimension. I started interacting with others and became more social and even made friends.

As I got better, the coach realized of my ability to lead other in cheerleading. I was always enthusiastic and fueled with great energy such that with time, I was given a pseudo role of leading others. I tried my best so as not to let the coach down and thus I improved a lot.

The Tournament

Back at home, my parents were really glad about my change and they always encourage the coach to help me. They were happy that I was no positive and promised to attend a baseball tournament whereby I would be cheerleading. I was the one to organize others and parade them during the event to cheer our school baseball team.

That day, dressed in elegant and sexy cheerleading attire, I led the group down to the baseball pitch in struts and twirls that were unique and magnificent that all other cheerleading teams became envious of us. There was a lot of shouting and cheers as I twirled the baton and cheered our team.

Te mood that day was a happy one. Just as we approached the podium where we were to cheer our team which was then playing, I saw my foster parents with my dad holding a camera taking pictures. Then a nasty thought came to my mind. I wished that my dead parents would have been alive. This really hurt me as it pierced me through my heart with intense pain. Before I realized it, I had gotten lost and thus was misleading others.

The pain was so much that I couldn’t take it. I dropped the baton and walked away while others were perturbed wondering what was wrong. I was all in tears and even as the coach rushed to comfort me, not knowing what was happening, I couldn’t take it. It was my foster mum who came to my rescue. She understood that at times the bad memories of my dead parents would come to me and disturb me.

The following day, I was very sad to learn that our team had lost that game and thus was out of the tournament. I blamed myself for creating the bad atmosphere and hated myself for that.

The coach however forgave me and encouraged me not to leave cheerleading. It was as if he knew the joy that I got from doing it. But it was the end of me leading others.